Instead of asking Facebook which church we should attend, maybe we should spend some time with Jesus and ask Him where He wants us to go — or IF He wants us to attend a church at all.
Maybe He has other plans than crowdsourcing recommendations.
Over the past year, I’ve read dozens of posts on Facebook and other social platforms that all sound the same:
“Looking for a church. Any recommendations?”
The request usually includes a list of requirements.
- Good preaching.
- Great music.
- Not too spiritual.
- Very charismatic — but no dancing.
- Or lots of dancing.
- Old hymns.
- Or modern worship.
- Fog machines and skinny jeans.
- Preach the truth.
- Align with my beliefs.
- Think as I think.
- Have variety — but not too much variety.
Blah, blah, blah.
What if — stay with me here — we asked Jesus where He wanted us to go?
Wouldn’t that be a novel idea?
When the Holy Spirit Chooses Differently Than We Do
As a young man, I felt clearly directed by the Holy Spirit to attend a specific church. Someone casually mentioned a church in the new town I had just moved to, and something clicked inside me. I knew I was supposed to go there.
I went once.
And walked out thinking, “I will never go back there again.”
So I didn’t — at least not right away.
Instead, I went church shopping every Sunday. I had a picture in my head of the perfect church, and none of them matched it. Eventually, I landed at a “cool” church. As a musician myself, I found the music excellent. Talented worship leader. Good production.
But week after week, I left with an uneasy feeling in my gut.
This wasn’t the place.
One day, while praying and journaling, the Lord spoke clearly to my heart:
“I already told you where to go.”
No, God. Not that place again.
You know how parents sometimes say something and the discussion is over — no matter how much you argue? This was one of those moments.
So the next Sunday, I reluctantly returned to the church I had written off.
Obedience Without Comfort
Nothing had changed.
The teaching was solid. It wasn’t just affirming what I believed, but it stretched me to think differently. The worship was fine, but old school–not new and hip. And, I didn’t fit. I was in my 20s. The congregation was mostly families and older. No singles. No obvious place for me.
But, I reluctantly obeyed.
Week after week, I learned from the teaching, but I made zero connections. No greetings. No conversations. At best, a nod and a sideways glance with the question, “Why are you still here?”
Every week, I begged God to let me go somewhere else. It felt obvious I didn’t belong. I received a welcome letter after a few weeks after filling out a visitor card that said:
“Your search for a friendly church is over.”
It wasn’t. My search for a church was over, but a friendly church certainly wasn’t over.
One Sunday, the church was packed — overflow seating, folding chairs everywhere. Every row was full except one.
Mine.
I was the only person sitting in an empty row. Just me.
I remember thinking, What am I doing here?
Even during the “turn and greet your neighbor” moment, people seemed to avoid me. I honestly wondered if I smelled badly.
After more than a year, I finally accepted that maybe God had me there simply to learn.
And learn I did.
I developed a hunger for Scripture like never before. I journaled. I grew spiritually; I just did it on my own.
The Reason I Was There
Then one Sunday night, a young woman from a nearby college walked in. It was winter. She wore a long wool coat, unbuttoned, flowing behind her like Batman’s cape as she walked to the front row.
That night, I met my future wife. And thirty-plus years later, we’re still married.
What if I had followed Facebook instead of the Holy Spirit?
What if I had chased my version of the perfect church?
What if all my boxes had been checked — but I wasn’t where God wanted me?
When God Leads You Away From Church
Now, decades later, I find myself sensing God leading me NOT to attend a church. Yes, I said to NOT attend church.
Heresy.
Forsake not the assembling, brother. (Make sure you use a religious KJV tone when you read that).
Where does it actually say that forsaking not the assembly means we are supposed to attend a weekly sermonar to hear someone’s personal opinion of what they think they heard someone else say that a particular scripture means?
After nearly 30 years of serving faithfully in the churchianity system, the Holy Spirit began nudging me onto a different path. After moving to South Carolina and searching for a church that checked all my boxes — and trying to connect with people who could benefit from my experience — I realized something surprising:
It was okay to step away. And I actually believe God was leading me away from the church. At least He led me away from the institutional box church system, where the Sunday show is consumer-driven rather than Holy Spirit-led.
For most of my adult life, I would’ve said you couldn’t be a Christian without going to church.
Now I sometimes wonder if you can truly be a Christian while going to one.
Why?
Because many churches teach you what to think, what to believe, but not how to think for yourself. Instead of equipping saints to go out and do the work of the ministry, the church keeps you dumbed down to think you can’t do anything without the pastor’s approval.
I once heard a pastor say, “We’re like the Bereans. We break down the Word so you know what it means.”
What he really meant was: We tell you what we think it means, and now you know what to believe... and you’d better believe what we say, or you’ll need to find somewhere else to go.
Only the Holy Spirit teaches us all things.
Just today, I watched a TV minister explain how to “date” churches — how to join one, leave when you stop liking it, and find another down the street. He called church membership a serious spiritual requirement.
And I couldn’t help but ask:
Where exactly is that in the Bible?
Conclusion: From Church Shopping to Spirit Listening
Somewhere along the way, we replaced spiritual discernment with consumer preference. We traded prayer for polls, conviction for convenience, and obedience for options.
This isn’t an argument against church–just churchianity.
It’s a challenge to stop letting culture, comfort, and crowds decide what only the Holy Spirit should.
The question isn’t:
“What church fits me best?”
It’s:
“Where is Jesus leading me right now?”
And sometimes — uncomfortably, inconveniently — the answer might surprise us.
