I went to church…
I did what is expected of every good Bible believer in Churchianity. I went to church.
I drove into the parking lot, and someone waved at me as I entered the driveway.
I exited my car and walked toward the entrance, where someone said, “Hello.”
I entered the doors that two greeters were holding. They said, “Good morning. Welcome to church.”
I entered the lobby and went to the coffee bar for my complimentary cup. A nice person kept the coffee urns full, and the counter wiped clean.
After making my coffee, I had a few casual greetings with one or two others in the lobby and then headed to the auditorium, the holy room, you know, the sanctuary, where I was once again greeted by someone holding the door open. They gave me a warm smile, and I went in.
I found a vacant seat at the end of the row. I quietly sat down, enjoyed my coffee, and watched the countdown timer go from 5 minutes to zero.
Upon hitting zero, the drums kicked in, and the person with the mic shouted, “Let’s get ready to rumble.” No, I mean, “Let’s all stand and worship.”
We proceeded to sing four or five songs with instrumental breaks in between and a few momentary words to motivate us to worship, sing, pray, or really worship Him.
When the last song ended, the guy with the title “pastor” came to the mic, wrapped up the worship with a short prayer, and transitioned into the morning offering portion. The onlookers were praised for giving, but more was still to be done, so another offering was received.
While the offering was received in multiple ways, text, app, online, mail, and even the old-fashioned “pass the bucket” routine, a pre-recorded video announced the upcoming events in the next several weeks.
As the video ended, all eyes were directed to the throne—the recently placed podium on the stage. Now, this was the highlight of the day. This is why we were all here. This is it.
The title guy began to give a lecture. It wasn’t a dialogue between believers but a monologue of one person’s perspectives. While he said nothing I would have disagreed with per se, there was no opportunity to discuss, question, or gain further clarification. It was a well-planned message meant to encourage my daily walk with God—to follow Christ, read my Bible, pray, give, and even join a small group to be accountable.
As the message ended, a group of prayer leaders was invited up front, and anyone who wanted extra prayer was encouraged to come forward. Those who didn’t want or need prayer were dismissed.
Annie bar the door
People came from every direction for the two exits on each side of the holy room. The lobby was quickly filled, and parents headed to the children’s wing to reclaim their little ones.
I joined a group of people, almost running for the parking lot. The same people who had warmly welcomed everyone as they entered had propped the doors open and run for the hills, I guess, so they could avoid the stampede.
Cars quickly formed lines around the building as people needed to get going and be about their business.
As I sat in my car and watched the events unfold, I noticed that probably fifty percent of the lot had vacated in just a few minutes. Phase 2 was now following suit. Parents with little ones and older individuals were making their way for the lot. In a matter of minutes, only a tiny percentage of those who were in attendance would remain in the building.
I sat and wondered if this was what Jesus had in mind for the Ekklesia He would build. I wondered if checking the church attendance box on our weekly calendar really made him thrilled with our weekly performance.
I somehow doubt that Jesus high-fived Gabriel after the 11 AM show curtain closed, but, oh well, I went to church. Check!
