Churched, Unchurched, Dechurched and Why

So what is the difference between churched, unchurched and dechurched and why does it matter?

I have been thinking a lot about the dechurched people in my region lately. I researched and discovered that approximately 40 million people in America have left the church system over the last 25 years. When you look at that from a local perspective, it is staggering.

First of all, there are approximately 341 million people in America today. Forty million is about 12 percent of that number. I currently reside in the Upstate region of South Carolina. There are almost 1.6 million people in the ten-county area of the Upstate. You’ll find that 186,000 people are dechurched in the Upstate using these percentages.

Indeed, these are not exact numbers, but they sure are eye-opening.

Before I go further, I think defining the terms used here is essential. First, “Churched” are people who are actively participating in the institutional church system. Most of these people attend brick-and-mortar church buildings at least once a week, hear a sermon, sing a few songs, and possibly participate in other church-sponsored activities. Other churched people may attend home churches.

“Unchurched” defines a person who has never actively connected with a local institutional church, regardless of where it meets. This doesn’t mean they have never attended a meeting, service, or other activity but never connected or attended regularly or for the long term.

The term “Dechurched” is a term that is defined to mean those who were once actively involved in a local institutional church but have chosen to leave that setting and no longer participate. Some within the church system would include those who left the brick-and-mortar buildings and now attend a “home church” somewhere. However, I do not include them in this definition.

It may be helpful for me to give my definition of two more terms: “Institutional church” or the “Church System” (I use them interchangeably) and the “Home Church.”

From my perspective, I put all of these into the same category. The only difference I see, for the most part, is the location where the people gather. The institutional church usually meets in a building designated for holding church meetings. This is typically a brick-and-mortar building built to have regular weekly meetings. It can be a renovated storefront building, a renovated warehouse, an old-style building with a steeple, or some elaborate auditorium formerly used by an NBA basketball team. These buildings may be rented, owned, or have an exorbitant mortgage. Home churches may gather in someone’s home or a private meeting room.

From my experience, there seems to be very little difference between a regular institutional church and a home church. They all fit into the church system. They typically follow a CEO-led business model. Many home churches or home groups have the end game of gathering enough people, gaining enough financial support, and then getting a building and starting a church. (If there are exceptions, I would love to find one.)

Many home churches are started because someone wants to start their own church. They want to be the leader or pastor. They want to have the title and the recognition. Sometimes, they split from another local institutional church because of differing opinions of scripture, personality conflicts, or even the choice of music. There may be genuine reasons for someone planting a church, as the system calls it, but many times, it is simply to further the church system and not do anything differently.

So why do people dechurch?

I include myself in the Dechurched group. After 55-plus years inside the church system, I chose to leave. Of those years, I spent over 30 of those years working inside the system. I grew up as a “PK” where my father served the church system for 50 years. Starting as a kid, I was active in everything church. After leaving home, I became actively involved in a local assembly where I was elected to serve on the church board. Then, for four years, I helped my wife start the first Hispanic church in our community. I then spent five years ministering as a traveling missionary evangelist and worked to establish a school, a feeding program, and three local church groups in Managua, Nicaragua. Finally, I spent seventeen years as a pastor in a non-denominational institutional church.

So, to be clear, I didn’t just go to church. I lived it.

So, why do people de-church? I’m sure there are various reasons. Some that I’ve heard over the years are:

• They were offended by the leaders or other members of the church
• They felt the church system or people judged them for any number of reasons
• They were denied a position of leadership
• They disagreed with the teaching or positions held
• They wanted to start their own church, do things their way, and be in charge. [They may not have stated it this way exactly, but it is what they meant.]
• Or they realized that the hierarchical church system was not what Jesus wanted. He didn’t want a CEO-led business but a family of priests and kings who are all equal, serving in unity, with no top-down leadership.

I find myself in the last category. I wasn’t wounded, denied leadership, or disagreed with the teachings. Instead, I was in that system, and from the inside out, I began to have my spiritual eyes opened to what Jesus saw when He looked at the church system.

• Jesus said, “Go into the world and preach,” but the church said to bring them into the church building to hear us preach.
• Jesus said, “You are all priests and kings,” but the church said we are the clergy, and you are the laity. You can sit and watch the professionals. We’ll allow you to serve coffee, park cars, run cameras, and serve as greeters, but leave the real ministry to the trained pro.
• Jesus gave to some to be apostles, prophets, etc., to equip the saints to do the ministry, but the church said our services, sermons, and songs are the ministry. So come and watch us perform.

As I served in what I thought was true ministry, my eyes began to be opened to what Jesus was seeing. Just as Jesus turned the tables over at the temple because of the religious abuse of His house, I believe He is turning the tables over on the religious abuse in our modern-day church system.

I believe a percentage of the dechurched want more than what the system offers. They desire more than going to a designated building and listening to a weekly monologue. They are tired of being herded into a building, coaxed to give, and encouraged to return week after week, with little or nothing to empower them to do what God designed them to do.

For a few years after leaving the system, I tried to “re-church,” but the more I tried, the more dissatisfied I became. Everywhere I went was the same. It wasn’t about building Jesus’ House. It was about building their house, the local church.

• Listen to the pastor–He’s so smart.
• Hear the songs–we have the best worship band.
• Watch our lights and smoke. What a great worship atmosphere.
• We have excellent movie clips. We are so hip and relevant.
• We’ll be done in an hour, so you can get on with doing your life.
• And “You are so loved here–although we don’t know who you are, and we don’t really want to–please come back next week so we can tell you how much you are loved.

Much like in the days of Nehemiah, the religious system stopped building the House of God and began building their own houses. Today, the religious system isn’t interested in building up the Body of Christ but in building their own house, their personal brand of the church system.

After the past few years of failing to re-church, I realize there must be others like me. Out of 186,000 dechurched people in the Upstate of South Carolina, there have to be a few who walked away from the system because they saw what Jesus sees when He looks at the system. Even if only 1/2 of a percent haven’t left their faith and want to become the Body that Jesus designed, that’s 900 people. I can’t be alone in this journey.

I am not alone, but it may feel that way sometimes.

Most “church people” think I have had a crisis of faith, lost my way, have backslidden, or possibly was never even saved at all. I had one young man trying to convince me I was never saved because I didn’t have a copy of my salvation certificate with a date.

I have discovered that most people in the system don’t understand. They think you need to find another church and are quick to invite you to their group, where they are so loving and open–until you raise questions they can’t answer. Then you are welcome to stay and keep quiet or leave.

As I started this journey, I thought my purpose was to convince people to reform the church system, but I no longer believe that. I need to find those who have already seen the need to dechurch and try to bring us together to establish more of what Jesus intended His Body to become.

What does that look like? I’m not sure, but I know it’s not three songs, a monologue sermon, and padded pew chairs.

And why does it matter? Because Jesus didn’t start a new religion. He came to end all religions. He came to establish a One-to-one relationship with every follower, where all are priests, kings, prophets and called with a dynamic purpose. His purpose for His Body is to represent Him on earth 24/7. Not just go to a wake every Sunday for an hour or two.

There must be something more, and I know there is. Just how to we find it? I know this. If we ask, seek and knock, He will answer us, help us find the path and open the doors we need to go through.

If you’re in the Upstate of South Carolina, please consider joining our Facebook group “Dechurched in the Upstate” and join the conversation. Who knows what will come out of it?